ESPAVO

Thank you for taking your power back.

I started writing about the fawn as a trauma response.

It started being like one of those psychology website articles and I decided to change it up a little bit.

When I first sat to write this piece, I sat the space with offering my channel for what wants to come forth, in other words, I had no idea what I wanted to write about.

It is ( not so ) ironic that what resides in my heart as a topic is “embodied self empowered presence”. It makes sense that Venus is retrograding in Leo, we just entered a new nodal period Aries-Libra Axis ( my north- south nodes ) and it is Leo season which is my solar return season. Feels like celebration within the dojo.

For those of you that are not astrology savvy, I recommend researching and reading into it as writing about planets in depth is not my forte. :)

First I will say In a nutshell, “fawning” is the use of people-pleasing to diffuse conflict, feel more secure in relationships, and earn the approval of others. And ultimately it is a response for us to keep ourselves safe in the face of a threat.

It makes sense to use people pleasing to stay safe. I get it yet, in order for us to fully claim our freedom in our healing journey and live from an empowered space we get to take a deep look at this inner war.

Why inner war?

Because when someone is people pleasing or they are doing it at an expense to their mental, emotional, physical health.

They do not have boundaries nor know how to say no.

They do feel responsible for other’s emotional states or moods.

They ignore their own needs and feelings and abandon themselves.

They become a walking apology.

Because it is subtler than other trauma responses, it is usually overlooked.

Because It becomes a way of being, it is usually bypassed and excused as an identity.

This whole dynamic when activated it can take us into a shame spiral and a freeze response. When freeze is thawing full on fight/flight. All of them has their own set of thought - emotion loop.

It is a journey to renounce this trauma response. The most empowering thing we can do in our healing journey though. It has so much to teach us about ourselves and how we relate to the world.

Once we start finding safety within, there will be so many different opportunities for us to respond to the world differently.

We will have some difficult conversations. We will set some new and improved boundaries. Some people will exit your life movie. Some new epics will enter the ones who are also walking life on their terms from an empowered space in deep relationship with the divine.

This whole life thing is an epic journey.

Once we start operating from newer sense of safety within, {which is also a journey, there is not an arrived destination of “I am now safe and will never feel unsafe.”}, the way that we give is different. It is so full, so heartfelt, so life giving, so rewarding. Instead of causing the conflict within.

Due to the nature of the work that I do in the world and the work that I am continuously doing on myself, I see it all around me. Men and women. Wether it is work or personal, I take great responsibility to be a clear mirror and plant seeds into the field that shows how to embody empowerment with a wide open heart and clear boundaries. A living breathing example. As much as I humanly can :)

One of the points I would love to make that we cannot do this healing work without addressing the nervous system. Here we are ending up right here once again. :)

Where are you at? Can you become aware how you respond to the world? Where you responding from? Are you doing what you are doing at an expense to your own mental, emotional, physical health? Get into the subtleties within? Inquire within and you shall be given opportunities to see it clearly.

Tips for the healing process.

Educate yourself about trauma responses, and become familiar with your own nervous system.

Process parts of your story. Normalize and compassionately understand how you responded to the trauma

Exercise setting boundaries and communicating powerful requests. Track your anger. I promise, your boundaries will be revealed to you in that space.

Learn how to deal with conflict.

Exercise taking space for yourself.

Practice self-care. Ask yourself your own wishes, needs.

Exercise giving people space to feel what they feel without feeling guilty about it. When you do feel guilty, that is your work to hold that child within and remind him/her that she is safe.

Exercise teaching safety to yourself in the now. Find in the moment, while you are reading this, what feels safe, take a breath and notice.

Be gentle with yourself and know that there is nothing wrong with you for learning to respond to life in this way.

Take responsibility for your empowerment, freedom and truth.

Hire a trauma informed, nervous system educated coach, therapist or a mentor to support you in your process.

So this week may this topic be your inquiry without rushing and with compassion. Where have you given your power away? How can you come home to yourself?

I will gift you with a word that is known to be used instead of hello and goodbye in the ancient days of MU. The word is “ESPAVO” and it literally translates to “ Thank you for taking your power back”

Feel it. Breathe it. ESPAVO….

When we are empowered, centered, safe, self loving, self knowing, feeling equal meaning no pedestals or looking down on anyone, we are living ESPAVO.

We take our power back and encourage others to do the same.

We want to live from that space of respect, equality, embodiment, truth and freedom.

ESPAVO and happy renouncing.

I love you and I want to see you in your power.

With love and truth.

Satya Lights